Leave the kids with your sister for the weekend, come by yourself and enjoy the time away from the lil' bastards!
Actually, we welcome you to bring your children to the event on Saturday afternoon for the games- we welcome you to keep an eye on them and keep them out of trouble. As long as you're supervising them- no one gets their spokes full of sugar and spice and everything nice. No one wants to see anyone hurt during the games- look after them!
Outside of Saturday afternoon- children are not allowed- and not that we don't love 'em... but just no. Too many things that can't be controlled by you or us. Easiest solution to keep kids safe is to keep them out. Sorry.
Broken glass is a concern because we do not want anyone to be injured that cannot receive immediate attention. This one gets overlooked- but please do your best not to bring glass into the park. We're here for a good time, not a visit to the ER for stitches.
We're all in this together- her for the fun of it. Everyone deserves to have a good time. Leave your attitudes at the gate and come and join us for a beer- there are 51 other weekends that you can deal with everything else. Chill out. Have a muffin?
Fido does not belong here. I know that he's man's best friend- but it will be a shitty memory when your best friend gets run over... repeatedly with bikes going in and out at all times.
Also, Fido shits! Fido bites! Fido fights with other dogs... sorry- best and easy solution is No Pets Allowed. We will be turning away people with pets with them. You can have them, but will not be camping in the park. That's a long ass hill to walk up drunk- so unless Fido can carry your drunken ass up it- please leave the pets at home Father's Day weekend.